It has been an odd week.

There is definitely something romantic about having a secret admirer. And, when you leave your mind to wander, it can be a little creapy.

So, I told you about the flowers left at my door, but that was only the beginning. I know that I just posted that part a few minutes ago (I'm an idiot and thought I posted it last Tuesday), but there has been more. So, apprently if you know someone's cell phone carrier, you can go to that website and send anonymous texts without so much as a signature.

I get a few text messages, completely harmless stuff. I finish some classwork on my computer, and go meet a couple of friends for coffee at Barnes & Noble. When I get home, there is a dead squirrel and feces all over my front door! Just kidding, but there are a bunch of rose petals around the front door, with a single red rose in a vase. The note on the rose simply said "Thinking of You".

Now, it's Thursday morning. I have gotten in the habit of getting up before 5 every morning. If I don't I feel like most of my day is wasted, and it's one of the best times to go and work out. Well, Thursday morning, I was wide awake at 3:50. (Might have something to do with me passing out on my kitchen floor after drinking myself in to a stupor. Or, I might have just fell asleep on the couch at 8). I get up, throw on my sweats, my sports bra and a hoody and decide I will ride my bike down to the gym. (It's only 3 or 4 miles).

This is just a side note: For me, the best part of working out at a gym is the shower afterwards. It's going to sound a little perverted and odd, but it really gets me going for the day. Being naked in a public place, showering next to other women showering, getting all soapy and clean, getting ready for the day...........Anyways, I digress.

I get back home, and I am in a SUPER good mood. The pills are working, I had a great workout, and I wanna do something fun today. I get back home, and there is a Teddy Bear at my front door with another red rose. The note said "I hope I am keeping you curious. I will reveal myself to you on Saturday."
Well, yeah, I am curious, and a little creeped out. Was someone watching the house for me to leave? Or did they drop it off on their way to work? Anyone who knows me, also knows that I get up really early. Did they knock on the door when they dropped it off? I thought about asking my neighbor, but she is a shut-in who watches soap-operas all day. The world could fall away around the apartment complex, and I don't think she would know.

I don't let my mind wander too far, I don't want to spoil my good mood. However, I do notice something about the day............I'm not horny. A lot of times I will take care of business when I get home after working out because it has made me horny. Not this morning, I am happy, but have no desire to do my normal routine. I get on the internet, and wouldn't you know it.........yeah, decreased libido. I can't have that. I like my routine, I like being a sexual person, I like thinking about sex. I will talk to my doctor on Monday because I know she is on vacation. Until then, no more pills.

I go and take another shower because I forgot to take shampoo and conditioner with me to the gym, and when I get out of the shower, there is another anonymous text on my phone. It said "I hope you enjoyed your workout! Still thinking about you and I can't wait to reveal myself to you." Now I am really creeped out!

But as I stop and think about it more, everyone knows that I work out nearly every morning. So maybe this "someone" actually isn't stalking me, and just knows me.

I am laying on my bed, still naked, thinking about what I am going to do today, when there is a knock on the door. Instead of hunting for my robe, and going through all those motions, I run over to the window to see if I can catch a glimpse of whoever is leaving me stuff. I look right, I look left, I look down, then repeat. Nothing. I am so engrossed in trying to see this person, when there is a knock on the door again, I am so startled, I hit my head on the window. LOL.

Forgetting I am naked still, I open the door to the end of the chain, and look out. It is Michelle (Not massage therapist Michelle, but Las Vegas friend Michelle). I tell her just a second, closed the door and took off the chain. First thing she said to me was "I can see you knew I was coming huh?" Yep, still naked. I apologize, and run in to my room and throw on some shorts and a tank.

I tell Michelle about all this weird shit happening, and she just kind of nods, and doesn't say a whole bunch. Then it hit me, she knows who it is. I grill her about it for a couple of minutes before she finally admits she has an idea on who it is, but isn't going to say shit.

Michelle and I spend the day hanging out, (She had the next 4 days off because they were replacing the servers where she worked), and end up at another friends house drinking wine coolers in her backyard until the sun went down. We leave this friends house, and I realize that I don't want to spend the night alone. (Not that way!), and ask her if she wants to get some movies and junk food and stay over at my place for the night. She agrees and we find one of those RedBox things at a store and get way more movies than we will watch in a night. We ended up falling asleep on the couch together some time before midnight.

I wake up at six, sore as hell from sleeping on the couch, and then wake Michelle up to tell her I am going to work out, and if she wants to sleep in my bed, she is more than welcome. I drive down to the club, and it is extremely busy. (Friday's always are.) I only do a short workout because I am tired of waiting for machines, don't shower, and drive back home.

There was nothing waiting at the door when I got home, which was kind of a relief. Michelle is showering when I walk in. I really had to pee, so just walked in. I excused myself from barging in on her, and she said it was no big deal. We visited while I went pee, and then I asked her if she was hungry, or wanted some coffee.

I was in the kitchen when she came out only in a towel. She asked if I had any baby oil and I told her where it was. I didn't take my pill yesterday or this morning, and was already feeling a difference with my libido because the sight of her wet body under that towel was enough to get the juices flowing. I had seen her naked before, and had even "done things" with her in Vegas. But this was different, or so it seemed. I certainly wasn't going to try and take it to another step with her, but it was comforting to know that I was feeling horny again.

When the coffee was done, I went in to ask her what she wanted in it. And wouldn't you know it, she was standing in the bathroom, stark ass naked, rubbing baby oil all over her body. Holy shit! Now that was quite the sight, let me tell you. It took everything I could muster to not ask her if she needed help. Well, I didn't have to. She asked me if I would rub some of the oil on her wet back.

God, let me tell you how difficult that was. I was doing my best to rub the oil in a "non-sexual" fashion, and was just looking at it as a job. That wasn't easy. I was trying to do my best not to stare at her breasts in the mirror as I was doing this, and then in a movie moment, our eyes met. Then she dropped the bombshell.

"So, I was going to wait.........but what would you say if I told you that I was your secret admirer?"
"Really? Or are you just fuckin with me?"
"I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I can't. I have to know what you think?"
"So it really is you?"
"Yeah, ever since Vegas, I can't stop thinking about you. I mean, is that okay? I didn't really know how to go about this, but I didn't wanna just come right out and say it. I wanted it to be kind of romantic."
"Wow, I would have never guessed. It's cool. I just would have never guessed."
"But what do you think? Do you like me like that too?"
"I mean, yeah.........." Honestly, besides Vegas, I never thought of her that way, and told her so. "But, I think it's awesome. Are you, like, a lesbian now?"
She was quiet for a second. "I don't know. I just know that I can't stop thinking about you, and I want to see if we can take it somewhere else."
Instead of answering her, I turned her around and kissed her. We kissed for a few glorious moments when she asked "What are you doing Saturday?"
I told her that I didn't have any real plans other than meeting my secret admirer. We both laughed.
"Do you want to go to Jackson Hole?"

I may have gone in to a little bit during my Vegas story, but maybe not. Michelle is 24, and comes from a uber-wealthy family. Michelle's dad came from a wealthy family, and even though no one really knows it, is one of the wealthiest people in town. Michelle's mom lives in San Diego, and is of all things, are cardiac surgeon. To hear Michelle tell it, she is a bitch that likes to shower her kids with gifts instead of love. Anyways, Michelle is a trust-fund kid who has more money than anyone her age should have. When she turned 18, she got 25% of a million dollar trust her grandparents set up. She will get another 25% when she goes to buy her first house, and the remainder when she gets married, or turns 30. So, yeah. I think you get it. Oh, and I didn't mention that this money has been collecting interest since she was given the trust at 18?

Back to the story. She tells me that although it wasn't planned for Saturday, she did want to take me to Jackson after she told me, and assuming I was cool with it. Mind you, she is still standing naked in front of me, her body only inches from mine...........I had gotten my horniness back, and it was flaring up like a gasoline fire. I so bad wanted to have my way with her, but she had other ideas. She tells me that she wants to do this right, and wants to see if we can have a relationship, if I was cool with that idea. I told her I was. She gently excuses herself, and goes to my room to get dressed.

We hung out all day yesterday. We went to Barnes & Noble and had coffee and talked until ten or so. Then we decided to go buy some bread and go down to the river and feed the ducks and geese. When we ran out of bread, we took a nice walk, just getting to know each other better. I opened up to her more than I had to anyone since my shrink, and I learned a great deal about her too. Just before the lunch crowd came streaming in, we walked in to a sushi restaurant right along the greenbelt to eat a light lunch.

After lunch, we drove over to her house because she had to go around and pay some bills. We just talked and talked, it was great. It was after two when we decided to go see a movie, but when we got there, there wasn't really anything either of us wanted to see. At one point, it was almost starting to feel forced, but it was just new, and I was really digging it.

When the movie thing didn't work, we just went for a drive. I don't even know where we went, but we drove around for the better part of two hours. Just talking and flirting and having a really good time. She had to go over to her dad's house for dinner, so she dropped me off at my place around 4:30. We made plans for her to pick me up at about noon today, so I better pack some shit and get my ass ready!

WOW!

A little depressed.

Zoloft! Now with Retsin.

That's what the Doc put me on. The appointment was actually for my "yearly", but I also knew she would know if I needed to be on something or not. Turns out she did.

I am still just as confused as I ever was. And there must be something about me that women just don't like. I don't get it. There have been a couple of ladies that I have tried to strike up conversations with on Stumbleupon, but that has never really worked out. I guess it is what it is. When you are trying to talk to someone while they are stumbling for PORN, it doesn't make for good conversation.

There is one that I have talked to that I think is the exception, but I have come to the conclusion that a lot of the other "females" that stumble are actually men. I see what they "like", and it just doesn't seem to be the kind of thing that women like...........but I could be wrong. I don't know what all women like (obviously), but it's just an observation.

So, last night, I am sitting in my empty apartment flipping through the channels on TV. I had just gotten out of the shower (an hour before), and was still naked. There was a knock on the door so I ran to get my robe. It took forever to find the stringy thing that ties it together, and when I got to the door, no one was around. There was a huge boquet of flowers though with a note that simply said "Thinking of you a lot lately" with no signature.

I didn't even bother to close the door and ran over to the window to look out over the parking lot. Nobody was walking away, no cars driving away, and no cars that looked familiar. I am definitely intrigued. The list of people that could have left it is quite long.

Just a quick little post.

Yeah, the whole lesbian thing hasn't worked out so far. Michelle turned out to be, well, crazy. Once I really got to know her, I found out that I didn't like her all that much. She moved out over the weekend, and is actually moving out of state. I feel guilty, but I am a bitch.

So, as far as being a lesbian, I guess I jumped to conclusions way too quick. I still don't want anything to go with a guy right now, but as it turns out, don't really want anything to do with women either.

At the urging of a friend, I am going to see a Dr. tonight to see if I am depressed. The way she put it, "Who wouldn't be depressed with all the shit you are going through?" Valid point. We will see what the Dr. says.

Totally ouf of character for me and a revaltion.

 Saturday night I was simultaneously playing Farmville and Stumbling when I get a message at the bottom of Facebook saying that Darren wants to chat.

A little background on Darren. I met him the night I graduated from High School. Some friends and I were at a party and he comes up and starts hitting on me. I didn't let it get to me, but he was quite the charmer, and super fine.Did I mention that he was 12 years older than me?  We see each other a few times, and we start to have a real good time together. For one reason or the other, we had never had sex. Like I said, we had gone out quite a few times, and had done other stuff, but I just didn't feel like I wanted to have sex with him. Well, Darren goes to Wyoming for a job interview to work in the oil fields. When he gets back home, he tells me he got the job, and is moving to Wyoming.

Well, that night, we go to dinner and then back to his apartment. He gets a call from his mom, and goes in to the other room. I sat down at his computer and started playing solitaire. Well, solitaire got boring, so while the solitaire game was down in the task bar, I started snooping through his computer. Yeah, you guessed it. Okay, well it wasn't exactly kiddy porn, in the way that I think about kiddy porn anyways, but it was porn with girls who obviously weren't 18. And then it hit me..................I look like I am about 15 anyways. That is this guys thing. He wants to fuck a 15 year old, and I am the next best legal thing.

It kind of grossed me out, and I had a real big problem with it, but I still fucked him that night, and haven't talked to him since.

So, back to Saturday night. The chat window comes up on Facebook, and it's Darren. I was only half talking to him while he asked what was going on, that he heard about my accident, heard about my new place.....blah blah blah. He tells me he is in town for a funeral, and he is leaving Thursday, more blah blah blah.  I am done with Farmville, and really done with Facebook for the night, so I tell him that I am going to bed, it was good talking to him.................good night. Then he asks, what I was doing tonight. I told him to read what I just wrote, and that I was going to bed. He writes back, "Oh, Okay." Here is where the "totally out of character" thing started for me that night.


I don't know what came over me, but I typed back "Why, did you wanna come over and Fuck?" Okay, I literally hit the enter button and instantly wanted to take it back. He comes back with "Yeah right, I was just asking. You don't have to be like that." To which I answered, "No, I am serious. Do you wanna come over and fuck?"

For those of you that read my blog, you will understand what I am about to tell you. This is totally out of character for me. Number 1, I have pretty much swore off guys. Number 2, see number 1. In that back of my I started thinking that this was going to be proof for me, once and for all. Either I was Bi, and truly wanted to be with both sexes, or I was a lesbian. I really wanted to know.

 So, Darren types back asking if this was some sort of trick. I assure him that it's not, and that I am serious. I send him my address, and tell him if he comes over right now, we can have some fun. He tells me he will be right over.

By now, my hear is pumping and I am really on edge. I jump in to the shower really quick, and no sooner got the towel on me and the water shut off, he was at the door. Well, no point in getting dressed now just to get undressed in a few minutes, so I walked out with only the towel on.

His jaw dropped when he saw me, and I kind of did the same. He was a lot more muscular than I remember him, and was looking really good. The door shut behind him, we exchanged some pleasantries, and gave me a hug. Well, my towel wasn't on that good, and it fell to the floor. Immediately his hands were on my bare ass, and my pussy started quivering. I looked up at him and we kissed. With our tongues locked together, he lifted me up with his newly stronger arms, and carried me over to the couch.

I am not going to write the rest down like some Erotica story like I do sometimes, I am just going to tell you what we did. We no sooner got on the couch that I had him out of his clothes. Seconds after that, I started giving him the blowjob of his life. I have to admit it, I know how to suck some mean cock, but no matter how dirty and nasty I tried to make it, it still felt like I was a hooker just doing a job. I climbed on top of him and started fucking him. I was being super loud, telling him to pull my nipples, to fuck me harder, to pull my hair. And wouldn't you know it, 2 minutes in to it, he was spent.

We sat on the couch, both out of breath with his cock still inside me. I wanted more. I wanted to get as nasty as possible and have hardcore porno sex. Thinking about it after he left, I guess I wanted to experience hetero sex at it's most intense just so I knew I gave it all I could. We sat there some more, and he was acting a little sheepish, like men do after they have just had an orgasm when I whispered in his ear, "If you can get hard again, I will let you fuck me in the ass!" I climbed off of him, and took the condom off of his slowing growing cock. With the condom off, I once again put my mouth on him. The taste of latex and cum wasn't all that enjoyable, but I wasn't going to let it stop me. By the time I had him cleaned off with my mouth, his cock was as hard as rock again. I told him to hold that pose while I go get something.

I go in to my room and get my bottle of Wet Platinum. It's a silicone based lube and perfect for what I use it for. I just about closed the drawer when I decided to grab another condom. I get back in to the room, and he has his cock in his hand, trying to keep it hard. What I said to him was right out of a porno or something. "If you're having trouble staying hard, watch this." I put the rubber on first, because putting it on second can be counter-productive sometimes, then leaned over the edge of the couch and started pouring lube down the crack of my ass. I re-capped the bottle, and started fingering my asshole. The next time I looked down at him, he was rock hard again.

I asked him if he had ever done it this way before, and he said he had. I didn't believe him, but it didn't matter. While he was still sitting down, I turned around, grabbed his cock and slid it in to my butt. I had all of the control this way, and certainly didn't want to give him any of it. I got off, grabbed the lube, and put some more on his cock. I started again, and within a few seconds, I was fucking my ass with his cock.

This lasted maybe a minute, not much more. I started coming back up, and his cock fell out of me. When I reached down to put it back in, he was going limp. So much for that. He apologized, (over and over), I said it was fine (over and over). I still wanted more. I wanted to fuck until I couldn't anymore. We sat there for a few minutes, just chit chattin, when I suggested we take a shower.

So, I get in the shower first, then he steps in. His cock is starting to get hard again so I wash him all up, get on my knees, and start blowing him again. He grabs the back of my hair and starts fucking my mouth, and I am kind of getting in to it when I feel his balls tighten up and BOOM! Yep, you guessed it, he fills my mouth with cum. Now I am kind of pissed off. He couldn't keep it hard when he is FUCKING ME IN THE ASS but I start blowing him and he cums that way.

I finish washing as he tells me how amazing I am (over and over), and I get out of the shower. By this time, it's getting close to midnight and I am feeling hornier than when I started. I honestly start going over in my mind who else I can call that would actually give me a good hard fucking. I walk out of the bathroom feeling like a whore, but I didn't care.

I go and lay on my bed face down, and start pondering what I am going to do. I reach down and start playing with my clit and I find that my pussy is still sopping wet. I kind of start getting in to it when from out of nowhere, Darren starts licking my ass. I don't stop playing with myself but he doesn't care. He is licking my ass like he is trying to win a game, and it is awesome. So awesome that I came seconds after he started. Well, for the next ten or fifteen minutes he is going to town on my ass, fingering my pussy and clit and I am starting to enjoy myself. Then, he lifts me up, and without a condom on, sticks him cocks in to my ass again. (The condom thing I didn't know for sure until later, but I suspected). This time, he doesn't go limp, he actually fucked me for the better part of ten minutes. I came  7 MORE TIMES. Yeah, it was fucking awesome. When he did finally go, he pulled out and came all over my back and ass.

His out of breath ass collapsed on the bed next to me, and I just lay there for a second. And yeah, I got what I wanted. I got up, and got back in the shower. While I was in the shower, I douched and really washed everything. And I had a big smile on my face. Not because I got the fucking that I wanted, it was because I finally knew, once and for all, that I was done with men.

I tried to be as nasty as I could, do things and kinky as I could and get fucked as hard as I could. But the whole time all of that was happening, I kept thinking that if I could find a girl to do all of that to me, I would be fucking set.

Here is me in a nutshell: I like sex, I like to be fucked, I like it in the ass, I like to be kinky and I don't want any of those things to come from a man. I am done. After I sent him packing, and telling him no, don't call me tomorrow, I lay in bed and looked up at the ceiling with a smile on my face. I am gay. Once I said it in my head, I said it out loud. "I, am, gay!"

I wanted so bad to call Michelle right then and tell her to come home. I really did miss her, and I wanted to be with her. It could wait until tomorrow. I fell asleep with that same smile on my face, and woke up to Michelle sitting in my Lazy-Boy, sound asleep.

Yes, we have finally talked and I told her about everything that happened. I told her about my Blog, my time in Vegas, my blue suction cup dildo, Stumbleupon, everything. She told me about what she did when she was gone, told me about how often she masturbates thinking of me, told me about how often she does those "special massages" to clients, and how often she gets huge tips because of it. When talked until 3pm before we went to Arby's to get something to eat.

When we got back, Michelle read my blog (and is kind of pissed that I used the name Michelle), and we talked some more. Her and I have come to the conclusion that, at least for a while, we are going to do this blog together. She admitted to me that it turns her on to read it, and we decided together, that it would be a turn on to write it together.

We kissed for the first time and I swear to god I felt it in my fucking toes.


Well, the next time you read something on here, it could either be from Michelle or Myself.



















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