I have been wanting to be more honest about my sexuality in this blog, but for some reason, I was a little scared. I guess I just didnt know how people would see me, and it was my answer to an email that I got on stumbleupon that has kind of made me realize something........nobody knows who the fuck I am. HA HA. I can be anybody I want, or I can be nobody. Hell, I can even go completely fucking nuts and BE MYSELF. It makes no difference. I can be the girl sitting next to you sipping a cup of coffee in Hastings, or the girl who just rang you up at the dollar store two hours ago. You have no idea. (I am neither by the way. Or am I?) So why not be honest? So that is what I am going to do. (By the way, If I ramble, or go off on a tangent, blame Nyquil.).
I have been sexual since I was 9. I wont go in to details but I was not like any of the other girls. I had sex with another girl when I was 12, and lost my virginity when I was 13. I was never abused or anything, but I think I can trace it all back to one day sometime in the summer before I turned 10.
I was in my second foster home and they had no kids of their own. They lived in a pretty nice neighborhood, and I became friends with a neighbor girl named Whitney. Whitney's parents both worked, but they were both shift workers, and worked different shifts. So there was a two or three hour window a few times a week that she was home alone. Well, one of these days we were sitting around her living room looking for something to do, when we start looking for a movie to watch. Out of the blue, Whitney asks if I have ever watched a porno before. I told her "yeah, I have seen them a couple of times". I hadn't, but didn't want to seem uncool. She asked if I wanted to watch one with her, and I said okay. I will remember this until the day I die I think, but it started out with two girls on a beach somewhere. One of the girls was probably hispanic, and the other one was white. They start out by kissing, and go on from there. They are licking pussies, assholes, titties..........you name it. The next scene was guy on girl and I got embarrassed to the point that I asked her to turn it off when the guy stuck "his weiner in her butt".
So, her I am, all these years later, watching porno still. But I have started to notice a little something................the kind of porn that used to get me off is not the same as what gets me off today. I mean, yeah, there are some classic scenes that I watch over and over again, and they always seem to work when nothing else will. But when I am in a super kinky mood, or ultra-horny, I find myself watching stuff I don't think I would normally watch, and doing things that I would have never done before.
I would really like to go on, but the Nyquil is kicking in, and I can barely hold my eyes open.
Love ya
how has the porn you watch changed? because i've noticed a change in my porn too, and my sexual development is similar to yours: at 7 (or younger maybe), the next door neighbor kid knew too much about sex and shared it with me, from about 8 to about 10 or 11 i had an adopted cousin with who i would kiss (really really heavy makeout stuff), and we would fondle eachother. i always tried to go a little further, but she wouldn't really allow it, even though she initiated the kissing and fondling. i've been sneaking porn as often as i could since i was 9, and for the last probably 6 or more years, my interests have been getting a little bit darker and more specific. this is the first time i've told any of this to anyone. ever.
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